5 steps to get over a breakup

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5 steps to get over a breakup

Breaking up can really hurt, emotionally, physically and mentally. You move from wanting to get out of the relationship to wondering if it all was that bad for you to leave and that it wasn’t that bad, really.

Now all you are left with is the nostalgia, the broken connection, you cannot sleep, eat or concentrate on anything. Your mind and body are on complete hold. Worse you cry a lot and are eating too much comfort foods. Breakups are painful!!

Breakups are painful and there’s a biological explanation why you feel the way you.

Brain researcher Dr Helen Fisher found that when a person gets dumped, the brain acts like it is crazy in love person, filling your head with dopamine. This means you become even more besotted, when what you had is taken away from you.

After a while, the dopamine levels plummet radically again, instead making you feel depressed, and your hypothalamus is making the stress hormones all excited. You feel less than good, so to speak. You cry even more. Dr. Fisher has written a fascinating book Why we Love worth a read.

Regardless of age breaking up hurts just as much for all and whether the pain is the result of being heartbroken or of our egos being hurt or maybe a bit of both, it’s hard to tell. However, one thing is for sure we all need a cure.

Here are five steps to work through to help you move on after a breakup and cure a broken heart:

  1. Look back at the relationship and name some instances that you enjoyed and made your life meaningful and fun while you were in the relationship.
  2. Also, figure out five important things that you learned about yourself and love, and that you can bring with you into the future.
  3. Let go of resentment and wish your ex good luck in the future. When you forgive your ex for their mistakes will your anger, hurt and pain subside.
  4. Forgive yourself for what you might have failed with. Were you too clingy, nagging, too careless; did you cheat or insult them? Whatever you did, now it is time to forgive and move on. Do what you can to learn, and improve for future relationships. Practise new behaviours daily.
  5. Describe your future vividly and with positive energy. Project and visualise a picture of your perfect future life. Men, women, friends, houses, health, travelling, work — fantasise and dream as freely as you can, and do it while smiling and looking forward.

Crying is a healthy response but to an extent. A period of grief and junk food cravings are all normal behaviours, but a miserable mood for too long will make it difficult to find someone new.

Moving on after a breakup is necessary to start a new page in your life and the five above steps might help you do so.


Tina is a DailyStar senior writer. She graduated from Edith Cowan University. Writing has always been something she enjoyed. Her positive outlook colours every aspect of her life. Her motto -Life’s too short so get living.

When she’s not busy writing, Tina is exploring the city she adores, running in her local Park every day, drinking an absurd amount of coffee, taking care of an adorable pup, kids and traveling.

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