7 Rules for a Successful Second Marriage

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7 Rules for a Successful Second Marriage

In Australia, a third of first-time marriages end in divorce. This piece of statistics makes many couples uncomfortable, since “till death do us part” is not so permanent after all. If you’re getting married for the second time, the numbers are even more concerning—almost 60% of second marriages end in divorce! So, how can you beat the odds and build a strong, healthy and happy second marriage? Well, for starters, try to avoid the mistakes you made during your first marriage, and try to adopt these following tips and rules. 7 rules for a successful second marriage.

1. Have realistic expectations

It’s best to have expectations that align with your spouse’s expectations—this will ensure your marriage works for a long time. Chasing expectations requires time and energy, so feel free to make smaller investments into your future, so you can enjoy the present more. Marriage is all about feeling happy and fulfilled.

2. Try to communicate

7 Rules for a Successful Second Marriage

When it comes to successful communication in marriage, it’s all about being able to come to terms with what your spouse is feeling and thinking. Most people are good at sharing our opinions and thoughts, but not many of us are good at handling opinions and feelings that oppose ours. When you communicate, make sure to meet each other’s needs and practice honesty. The key to healthy communication is to stay calm when you don’t agree with something your spouse is saying and create a safe space where both of you can express your thoughts and feelings. This will build great intimacy, trust and connection.

3. Take care of your property

In Australia, estate planning contains all legal documents and strategies to protect and preserve your wealth and transfer it to your loved ones after your passing. You might have had an estate planning method during your first marriage, but that method is probably not working anymore. During your second marriage, you need to think of many new parties involved: yourself, your new spouse, your kids, your spouse’s kids and your shared kids—everyone’s point of view should be considered. Luckily, if you hire experienced estate lawyers from Brisbane, you can get great advice on how to create a plan that will satisfy all your wishes. This will greatly reduce tension and allow you to build a trusting relationship with your spouse.

4. Define gender roles

7 Rules for a Successful Second Marriage

While gender roles certainly changed, it’s still good to clearly define them—it’s associated with longer, happier and steadier marriages. While marriages between two breadwinners and people who share household duties statistically last longer, it only applies to partners where these duties are clearly defined before marriage.

5. Blend your families the best you can

Blending a family is never an easy task. It can involve unhappy kids, angry ex-spouses and unsure relatives, so make sure to set rules when it comes to child discipline and relationship, working with exes and creating a lasting bond with new relatives. Don’t rush things and everything will fall into place naturally.

6. Schedule some ‘me’ time

7 Rules for a Successful Second Marriage

When you’re married, you can still have some ‘you’ time and enjoy solitude—it’s not always a bad thing to spend time apart. Every day, try to take purposeful breaks from your spouse and let your mind relax. You don’t have to spend hours apart, but a simple walk with just your dog will do everyone a lot of good. And make sure to allow your spouse to enjoy their time alone or with friends. This will give you time to breathe and prevent many small conflicts that can grow into full-blown arguments.

7. Work on your happiness

You can only be as happy as you allow yourself to be. You’re the only person responsible for your happiness, so make sure to remove that burden from your spouse. Of course, your spouse can do or say things that might make you sad, but if you encourage healthy boundaries and respect, you will be happy together. It’s mostly up to you how you’re going to live your life—in sadness or happiness, so work on yourself before relying on your partner to spark happiness in you.

Be honest, vulnerable and open with your partner if you want to beat the odds and stay in your second marriage till death do you part. Respect, acceptance and plenty of patience will do wonderfully with the aforementioned rules and you will certainly have nothing but happiness in your second marriage.


Chloe is a graduated journalist from Adelaide and a regular contributor to Smooth Decorator.

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