Nice girls finish first!

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Nice girls finish first!

A study published in the Journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin  has found that men do prefer ‘nice girls’, and that nice girls finish first in dating.

Men are sexually attracted to women who show an interest in them or who are responsive during a date, the study found. However, women are not  sexually interested in men who are equally responsive when they meet for the first time, the research also discovered.

Gurit Birnbaum, an associate professor of psychology at the Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) Herzliya in Israel and the lead researches said: ‘We want to understand the reasons for these gender differences.’ and  ‘What makes a responsive woman sexually attractive, and what makes a responsive man less sexually attractive?’

She also adds that responsiveness is crucial to any successful relationship. Sexual desire thrives on intimacy, and being responsive is one of the best ways to instill this elusive sensation over time.

Men and women perceive responsiveness differently when they first meet, the study found. Men who perceive women to be interested in them rated the women as more feminine and sexually attractive. They also showed more interest in having long term relationships with the responsive women than with the nonresponsive women.

‘This is one of the most exciting articles I’ve ever seen on the topic of initial romantic attraction,’ said Eli Finkel, a professor of psychology aat Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois, who was not involved in the study itself.

There were three experiments conducted to examine why men prefer responsive women. In each experiment, there were 80 – 161 undergraduate students who talked with an opposite gender student, either in person or on Internet chats. The students talked about failing an exam and the other listened and responded.

At then end of each conversation each student rated their partners on scales such as responsiveness, attractiveness and masculinity or femininity.

According to Brinbaum, gender based stereotypes may play a role in the men’s preference for responsive women. During the first date, people tend to rely on gender stereotypes for how they think a person should act. Men may find women more attractive if they fit the female stereotype of showing care and concern,  Birnbaum added.

Finkel also added that ‘I didn’t know, that until this journal, that men perceived responsive women not only as feminine, but also as sexually arousing.’

Girls that are nice finish first, but men have greater freedom, men can be both attractive if they are nice or not so nice, but the women are only appealing if they are nice. It could be that women are more suspicious of men who are too nice as they might arouse suspicion. Women tend to be more cautious when dating than men. It could be also that women view men who are responsive as less dominant and vulnerable.

Regardless of the reason, men should be cautious with the amount of responsiveness they show in their first date especially if their aim is of a  sexual nature.


Tina is a DailyStar senior writer. She graduated from Edith Cowan University. Writing has always been something she enjoyed. Her positive outlook colours every aspect of her life. Her motto -Life’s too short so get living.

When she’s not busy writing, Tina is exploring the city she adores, running in her local Park every day, drinking an absurd amount of coffee, taking care of an adorable pup, kids and traveling.

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