Supporting Your Friend Through an Unwanted Pregnancy

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Supporting Your Friend Through an Unwanted Pregnancy

You just accompanied your friend to a nearby obstetrics clinic. The past week has been devastatingly emotional for your friend. She found out that she’s pregnant. Her boyfriend is nowhere to be found. He’s not been responding to calls, emails, or text messages. A huge fight preceded the disappearance, and she didn’t even know that she was pregnant.

Now, she’s an emotional wreck, distraught and crying every day. She doesn’t have a clue how to go through this situation, this unwanted pregnancy. She’s your dear friend, and this is also your first time to be dealing with this kind of situation. What can you do to make her feel better? What type of support do women with unplanned pregnancy need? Tips on supporting your friend through an unwanted pregnancy.

Unplanned Pregnancies in America

Nearly half of all pregnancies in America are unplanned. And around 43% of these unplanned pregnancies will be aborted. The situation would get worse once the baby comes. Because it is unexpected, the resulting impact on the child can be delayed prenatal care. Researches also suggest that the chances of premature birth are higher with unplanned pregnancies. As far as the future mother is concerned, finishing college education is immediately threatened.

Support for a Friend

This is going to be challenging for you as a friend. But remember between yours and hers, her challenge takes the cake. So you need to set aside your feelings of inadequacies and be there for her. Here are some of the things you could do to provide her with the support she needs.

Availability

Remember those pledges you made to each other while growing up? This is the power of the universe collecting on those pledges. You need to be available to her. If she feels recounting her sad story, listen, and comfort her. Being available also means observing her keenly and watching out for unusual body language or out of control behaviour. Be sincere with your words and your actions.

Focus on practical matters too

All the listening to her story is necessary. But be the guiding light that directs the discussion to the useful stuff. Gradually focus the discussion towards, for example, how to care for herself and the baby. Offer to look for doctors and to schedule visits. Because she is emotionally distraught, she might not have the appetite to eat. Make sure that she gets the nourishment that she needs because now she’s feeding for two.

Powers of encouragement

Your job is also to encourage, not to push her towards making a specific decision. Support means staying positive and that you are ready to explore with her the available options. Talk about the positive experiences of women who have undergone the same thing she is going through and have survived through it all.

Honesty and realism

When people sense sincerity from other people, especially from dear friends or family members, no matter how harsh the comments are, it is more often than not taken positively. Be honest with her, especially about her options. Be the voice of reason that presents what the reality of, for example, being pregnant while finishing a college degree means. Realism is about seeing the now and how it connects into the future. She needs to see that.

It’s a stressful situation. There are many more ways to be supportive. But with these key points, you would have already done your friend an excellent service.

Judith Arevalo

I am a good Mom, have two active children. I am working in a beauty and spa company but now I also decided to make its own profession. So I am here to learn and teach.

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