The Dos & Don’ts In A Mediation

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The Dos & Don’ts In A Mediation

When it comes to mediation, there are certain do’s and don’ts that should be followed in order to ensure a successful outcome. 

Here is a guide to help you through the process. The dos and Don’ts in a mediation.


1. Be Prepared

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This means bringing any relevant documents, as well as having a clear idea of what you want to achieve from the mediation process

If you have any questions or concerns, be sure to raise them with the mediator so that they can be addressed. 

So make sure you know what the problem is and why you are seeking mediation. 

It is also helpful to have an understanding of the other person’s point of view.

2. Communicate Openly

Be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings. Counselors from the Gold Coast recommend communicating clearly and avoiding using “you” statements that could make the other person defensive. Try to stick to “I” statements. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” try “I feel like I’m not being heard.”

It can also be helpful to avoid making assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling. If you’re not sure, ask them directly. And finally, remember to stay calm and respectful throughout the conversation. Mediation is an opportunity to find a resolution that works for both parties involved, so open communication is key.

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3. Be Willing to Compromise

If you want to be successful in mediation, you need to be willing to compromise. This means that you need to be open to giving up some of what you want in order to reach an agreement that is acceptable to both parties.

Compromise does not mean that you have to give up everything that you want. It simply means that you are willing to negotiate and find a solution that is satisfactory for both sides.

In order to be willing to compromise, you need to keep an open mind during the mediation process. You should be prepared to listen to the other party’s point of view and consider their needs and wants.

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4. Listen Carefully

Make sure you are really listening to what the other person is saying. Pay attention to their body language and tone of voice as well as the words they are using. Try to see things from their perspective.

Here are a few tips – 

  • Pay attention to body language as well as words.
  • Try to refrain from interrupting or debating what the other person is saying.
  • Ask clarifying questions if you’re not sure you understand something.
  • Repeat back what you’ve heard to make sure you’ve understood it correctly.
  • Avoid making assumptions about what the other person means.

5. Respect the Process

Mediation can be a slow and difficult process, but it is important to respect the process and the mediator’s role in it. Be patient and stay focused on the goal of reaching a mutually acceptable agreement.


1. Be Aggressive

This means avoiding actions or words that could make the other person feel threatened. If you’re feeling angry or upset, try to take a few deep breaths and calm down before speaking. It’s also important to avoid making any demands or ultimatums during the mediation. Instead, focus on finding a solution that everyone can agree on. If you can’t reach an agreement, then you can always walk away from the mediation and try again another time.

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2. Use “You” Statements

As mentioned above, using “you” statements is likely to make the other person defensive and less likely to listen to what you are saying. Focus on “I” statements instead.

3. Make Demands

This will only serve to increase the tension and make the other party less likely to compromise. Instead, “try to focus on finding common ground and working together to reach an agreement that is fair to both sides”, suggests Leo, a consulting expert from Melbourne

If you are feeling frustrated, it is important to take a step back and remember that mediation is all about finding a resolution that works for both parties. Making demands will only make the process more difficult and less likely to be successful. Try to stay calm and focused on the goal of reaching an agreement that is fair to both sides.

4. Interrupt

Let the other person finish speaking before interjecting your own thoughts. This will show that you are really listening and trying to understand their perspective.

5. Give Up

“Don’t give up if mediation is not successful the first time around”, points out business owner Julie who recently has been to mediation sessions. “It may take several attempts before an agreement can be reached. Be patient and stay committed to the process”.


All in all, you need to be prepared to work hard. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s worth it. If you give up, you’ll only regret it later. So don’t do it! Stick with it and see the process through. You might be surprised at how well it can work.

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Sarah Miller

Sarah writes about her personal journey, learning, life optimisation and her passions. For more thoughts and ideas, you can connect with Sarah on Twitter

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