Why Mindfulness and Breath Matters When It Comes to Better Sex

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Why Mindfulness and Breath Matters When It Comes to Better Sex

Mental and physical health can be enhanced by having pleasant romantic and sexual experiences. According to the National Library of Medicine, lessened cognitive distraction can improve the mindfulness and breathing of individuals aiming toward better sexual relationships. These effects may support your encounters with your sexual dates or relationships.

Being mindful during sex, for a lot of people, can be stressful. During sex, this practice calls for concentration and a non-judgmental attitude, as opposed to other, less stressful situations. For instance, maintaining attention while doing yoga is very different from being attentive during sex.

On the other hand, having a good breathing technique can act as a catalyst to be mindful and focused. Along with that, it can be a bonus for attracting your partner and enjoying yourself during sex.

Is mindfulness important during sex?

Although it might be essential, being mindful isn’t the only crucial aspect of pleasurable sexual experiences. Even those who are generally aware in their everyday life may run into the difficulties of being mindful during sex. For example, most people can face the pressure of being self-critical, or sexually nervous.

Since romantic and sexual satisfaction are interconnected and reciprocal, we may anticipate that mindfulness may be significant for sex in general and sexual pleasure in particular.

Mindfulness is linked to fewer excessive or repressed sexual concerns or actions and may help reduce cognitive interference during sex. Being more present or focused makes it possible to better regulate emotions and engage in more conscious conduct, which is one way that mindfulness may support healthy sexual results.

Thus, a person’s sexual attentiveness and sexual enjoyment are generally, but not always related. However, in cases of sexual dysfunction, or inability to achieve orgasm, mindfulness can be a useful solution.

How can you practice mindfulness?

It can be easy to drift away from the situation you are currently in when your mind is constantly bringing up absurd questions at the wrong time. For example, imagine having sex and thinking, “did I pay the electricity bill?”

Well, in such cases, you can follow certain tips to allow yourself to be in the situation. Let’s take a look at some of them below.

Focus on the entire experience, rather than just thinking about the end

The secret of eroticism is sensuality. When we experience distractions, low sex drive, less sexual excitement, or just the climax, we tend to drift in between with our thoughts rather than the entire experience.

We must figure out how to reintegrate with our bodies. Play through the five senses closely. What does your partner(s) like to eat? What scent do they have? Are they touching you anywhere? Looking into their eyes, how does that feel? This will assist in bringing our focus back to the present. Just get out of your head and into your body. Tune into your erotic desires. 

Explore yourself 

Think about enjoying masturbation or self-love. The emphasis here is to try to practice being in the moment when you’re alone with your body. Live through the present moment without any judgment or expectations. For a leisurely episode of self-love, lock the doors and speak to your body. Explore the feelings as they arise while following your body’s natural curves. No objectives, no judgments, and no criticizing.

Don’t be afraid to talk about sex

Communication is the first step in recognizing our sexual identities and those of our relationship(s). In many parts of the world, talking about your sexual desires and experiences with your partner(s) is still considered taboo. 

As much as it’s easier said than done, it’s also important to understand that until you don’t speak out about the concerns, no one can address them. 

At the same time, when your partner(s) approach you, be open and give them the comfort to speak their heart. Discuss sex in a favourable light. For example, “I really like the position we tried yesterday, perhaps we can do something more different frequently.” The point here is to try using positive words more to give the other person comfort space as well. 

By acknowledging each other’s emotions, we can begin to comprehend the sources of fear and establish a welcoming environment for discussing the subject.

Practice mindfulness in your everyday life

Make an effort to be mindful during daily activities. For instance, when taking a shower, act as if it is your first time and engage all of your sensations: Feel your soap-covered hand sliding across your skin; breathe in the aroma of your conditioner; taste the droplets of water as they fall. Consider approaching even the most basic tasks with mindfulness. When your thoughts stray, force them to return to the sensations. You’ll be surprised by how much simpler it is to adapt this approach to more sensual activities if you persevere.

Does breathing matter?

It’s not always simple and effortless to prepare for sex. You may occasionally need to take a bath or shave. Maybe it’s time to replace the bedsheets. You might get the urge to buy some candles, make some erotic drinks or hire a babysitter.

Sometimes having sex makes us anxious. Paying attention to your relaxed breathing and having healthy breath is one of the best strategies to reduce stress, as these things can raise your confidence and improve your blood flow, mindfulness, and mood.

How to use your breath for better sex?

Breath work refers to a variety of breathing methods that can assist you in managing anxiety, stress, mindfulness, and channelling your blood flow towards enjoying sex

Let the breath drive your body

During sexual activities, taking deep breaths and concentrating on your genital area might increase pleasure. Consider taking deep breaths all the way into your genitals as your excitement increases. Your attention will be shifted there, enhancing the pleasure and sexual connection with your partner. 

A quick breathing exercise to help: While being intentional, guide your breath as far into your abdomen as possible. Practice breathing in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Inhale and exhale slowly for a couple of breaths. Some people find it difficult to breathe in and out for long counts. Initially, you might not be able to do it for long, but keep practising and you’ll improve. Inhale for 3 counts, and exhale for 6. Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 8. And so on. 

Breath from your nose

Instead of inhaling through your mouth, breathing through your nose can let in more oxygen. This can help to experience a natural high from the nitric oxide, and change how your pelvic floor and core are used. As the situation heats up, this exercise will become noticeably more challenging. In this case, you can shift the focus back and forth to your nose inhale and mouth exhale.

Talk to your partner about what worries you

It’s common for some partners to feel out of breath and tired during sexual intercourse. The best thing to do in this case (if it bothers you) is to discuss your worries and desires—as well as theirs—with your partner. Speaking openly will help you both feel more at ease and think of new, romantic ways to spend time together. You could say, “Sometimes during sex, I (or your partner/s) get out of breath with the feeling of being tired. I feel this comes in the way of our pleasure. However, I feel we can work this together and have an even better sexual experience.”

Exercise to stay fit

Whether you’re jogging, walking, having sex, or engaging in any other physical activity, exercise can help you stay active longer.

Energy is needed for all forms of sexual activity, including masturbation and oral sex. You’ll use your heart, lungs, and muscles, as with any physical activity. Your heart rate and blood pressure can increase momentarily, and you might need to breathe more often. If this occurs, it will happen to everyone; don’t panic; these will immediately return to normal levels. You need roughly the same amount of energy to climb stairs or walk quickly as you do during an orgasm.

Wrapping up!

Don’t be anxious about toys, magic spells, pranks, or acrobatics. One of the many best approaches to having great sex might just be to stay present and focus on the sensations you’re having, as opposed to letting your mind drift and your body operate automatically. And, of course, a good breathing flow. While breathing and mindfulness are crucial, they are easily forgotten. 

However, what may work for one person might not work out for another. The best thing would be to explore your body, take a professional’s help, talk to your partner and see what best suits you and your partner. At the end of the day, sex is meant to be enjoyable for everyone involved.

Featured photo by zelle duda on Unsplash

Megan Paige is a sex and relationship coach based in San Francisco. She works with clients online and in person who want to improve their dating and sex life. Megan uses real-time experiential exercises and somatic learning to help individuals and couples gain a deeper understanding of themselves while exploring new pleasure pathways within the body.

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