5 Easy ways to get her in the mood

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5 Easy ways to get her in the mood

As a bloke, you are probably the one who almost always initiates sex in your relationship. You ask yourself why is that?

According to psychologist and relationship expert Tracy Thomas, PH.D, one of the major reasons women don’t initiate sex; is their fear of being seen as less feminine. Therefore they cling to the traditional gender role of being submissive in bed, leaving you to initiate sex. Tracy Thomas adds, “It also becomes another area where she could potentially fail, and be rejected – most women are terrified of being rejected.”


How can you fix this? Tracy Thomas suggests that you create an atmosphere in which she doesn’t feel she needs to be perfect. Tracy Thomas puts this into language we all understand: “ What you really want is to make her feel like it’s safe for her to let go, like she can surrender to her sexual desire.”

Here are five tips to get her in the mood for sex that she’ll do the work for you:

  1. Seduce her throughout the day

Seduction starts long before you get into bed and start taking your clothes off and relationship expert April Masini of AskApril.com reinforces this. “ Women are a lot slower to warm up, so if you start their engines early and often, you’re more likely to score later,” she says.

If you want her in the mood later, warm her up through the day with suggestive texts or phone calls, teasing her and by the time you get home she’s fired up to get it on.

  1. Wind her mind down and her body up

Make her forget about the stresses of the day, “when we’re under stress we are primarily designed to not seek out pleasure. It’s a survival instinct.” say Tracy Thomas. So run her a hot bath and offer her a glass of wine and spend some quiet time with her.

  1. Avoid arguments

Arguments do not set a sexy atmosphere so maybe it is a good idea to just let it go and not try to be right. Since being right, as Masini explains “is sometimes the obstacle to being happy and often the obstacle to romance” she continues to say “If there’s the potential for argument on the table, just ask yourself if this really is the hill you want to die on.” Giving in to her point of view on heated insignificant discussions might be the very thing that will keep her in the mood.

  1. Follow her leads

Do you want her to initiate sex more often? Don’t reject her attempts even if they are slightly lame attempts. Remember the first few attempts are going to be half-assed because she might be feeling nervous for fear of rejection. It is really important that you let her know that you think she could do better. You want her to give it another shot? Then motivate her to try again and she’ll become better at it the way you want it, but whatever you do don’t stop her at her tracks with derogative comments or making her feel she is lousy at it in the beginning.

  1. Her pleasure comes first

The key to more sex and sex she initiates is as Masini explains. “ She wants to feel good in bed, and if she does, she’ll want to please you – and have more sex.” Find out what she likes in bed and make it a priority and the best time to do it in is when you are not in bed so the pressure is off. Masini explains that to have the more sex you have the easier it is for her to be in the mood to initiate sex as it is a regular part of your lives.


Tina is a DailyStar senior writer. She graduated from Edith Cowan University. Writing has always been something she enjoyed. Her positive outlook colours every aspect of her life. Her motto -Life’s too short so get living.

When she’s not busy writing, Tina is exploring the city she adores, running in her local Park every day, drinking an absurd amount of coffee, taking care of an adorable pup, kids and traveling.

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